Why Struggle is Essential for Growth (The Story of the Struggling Moth)

Why Struggle is Essential for Growth (The Story of the Struggling Moth)

A man found a cocoon of an emperor moth. He took it home so that he could watch the moth come out of the cocoon. On the day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the moth for several hours as the moth struggled to force the body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no further. It just seemed to be stuck.

Then the man, in his kindness, decided to help the moth, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The moth then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the moth because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the little moth spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the moth to get through the tiny opening, was the way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Freedom and flight would only come after the struggle. By depriving the moth of a struggle, he deprived the moth of it’s health and it’s freedom.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

Anyone can give up when times are tough. Seriously, the easiest thing in the world is to give up when things aren’t going according to plan …but to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you quit, well… that’s true strength.

One of my favorite quotes is from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross…

“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.”

So this moth, as beautiful as it is, had to go through some major struggle to get here today and allow us to see it in all it’s glory.

Remember the Law of Rhythm as it states that everything is moving to and fro, flowing in and out, swinging backward and forward. There is a high and a low tide. Everything is flowing, both in and out, in accordance with this law.

So the next time you are going through a struggle, know that, “This too shall pass.”

When you are on a down swing, do not feel bad. Know the swing will change and things will get better.

Grounding Your Energy: Why It's Important + How to Do It

The Importance of Grounding

As you connect more deeply to self, it is extremely important that you remain grounded. Grounding our energy, in relation to the earth’s, allows you to feel present and alive in each moment as well as helping to clear any excess energy you may have. When you are cognizant our your body’s connection to the Earth, it can allow you to more clearly discern the messages your intuition provides. It also allows you to stay more closely in touch with reality, which is crucial as you become more at one with your spiritual being. Frequent grounding practice also has measurable health benefits such as decreased inflammation and increased level of antioxidants within the body. Aside from meditative grounding, you can try putting your feet on the ground, working with soil, or spending time with nature to enhance your connection to the Earth and feel more solid, safe and strong.

Even just a few minutes of grounding practice can help. Come back to this activity regularly and often to increase your connection connection to self and to the Earth.

To Ground:

  • Close your eyes

  • Begin to focus on your breath, bringing awareness to your own pattern of breathing

  • Breath in deeply and exhale completely

  • Bring awareness to your physical body, focus on relaxing while remaining comfortably erect

  • Bring awareness to your root. You can:

  • Recognize your physical connection to the Earth (feet on ground, bottom on chair, etc.)

  • Rock back and forth (or side to side)

  • Engage your pelvic floor muscles (Kegels)

  • Visualize those strong, solid roots which are connected to your physical body

  • Imagine them growing downward, solidifying your connection to the Earth

  • Bring your awareness back to your breath

  • Breathe out what you wish to be get rid of and breathe in what you wish to receive

  • When ready, open your eyes

  • Bringing attention back to your physical body in the present moment

  • You can squeeze and release your facial muscles as well as hands and feet

Two Things That Cause People to Lie and be Flakey

Welcome, I am so happy you’re here! You could be in any space on Earth right now, but you’ve chosen this space! And that is so very important because it means that you want to take control of your life and start trusting that perfect guidance system that resides within us all...our intuition!

Trusting your intuition isn’t always easy. It requires hard work, commitment, and self-examination. You can have everything you want in life! But you’ve got to be willing to do the work. Want co-workers to provide more honest feedback? Want to trust more? Want your loved ones to show up for you more fully? Me too, so let’s get to work!

Obfuscation - to confuse, to make unclear or obscure, to darken (synonym -  to clarify)

Never heard the term obfuscation? (No worries! After all, I am here to educate ;-) That’s the dictionary definition there above. In practice, obfuscation is hiding facts, telling only part of the truth, manipulating perception. Obfuscation is knowing how someone will react, not wanting that reaction, and changing how we behave to change how they react.

This practice is actually very common for empaths, sensitive people, people pleasers...in other words...you and me! We do it when we tell a half-truth or manipulate someone’s perception of a situation. We know we’ve done it when we walk away from an interaction feeling like we got away with something. We do it because we’re trying to avoid an undesirable reaction!

What am I doing to cause people to lie and be flakey?

Well, we’re lying and being flakey. We’re obfuscating. We’re:

  1. Avoiding Conflict.  Oftentimes we think that it’s better (or easier) to avoid what we perceive as confrontation or conflict. Communication is a healthy part of life!

  2. Operating out of Obligation. Making decisions for our lives based on what we think others think or feel. We’re trying to serve others before serving ourselves!

What does my behavior have to do with theirs?

Well, EVERYTHING! Avoiding conflict and operating out of obligation affect the energy you put out into the world, and therefore, the energy you receive back.  You get out of life what you put into it! If people are lying to us, if people aren’t showing up for us authentically; we have to recognize that we are constantly projecting the energy that is amplified in our lives. If we need our friends to tell us the truth, our family to be 100% there for us, our team members to give us honest feedback; then we need to do this ourselves! When we tell the truth, it feels open and good, and we get a lot more back from others: more clear communication, more quality work, more positive energy, more trust.

So the next time you’re exhausted but plan to attend the event anyway, or the next time you tell only a portion of the facts for fear of the other person’s reaction…think whether that is the type of energy you want amplified in your life and proceed accordingly. Say, “I’ve had an exhausting week and I want to show up for you, but I want to show up 100%. Since I can’t do that, I won’t be attending tonight.” Say, “No, I won’t be out of town but I’m not available to work this weekend.”

What is most important is that you act in a way that is in alignment with your body feeling good and open. Speak your truth and you’ll be able to live in it as well!

May intuition be with you!

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What’s Next?

Registration for my 6-week course, Trust Yourself, begins October 23. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter for all the details! As always, I’ll see you on Facebook every Wednesday (9pm ET/6pm PT) where we’ll be discussing new topics related to all things intuition, LIVE!

Mansplaining Didn't Get Me Down AKA How to Receive

Welcome back! I’m glad you are here because you are on the precipice of a major shift! You are here to learn the tools you need to unlock the key to trusting yourself and your intuition, and you are in the right place!

One of the ways we address personal blocks and connect more deeply to our intuition is to notice the signs and synchronicity all around us. When we recognize commonality in our experiences, it allows us the chance to look inward and receive invaluable lessons!

In order to receive, we must recognize those “things” (something felt, seen, perceived) that seek to take our power. When we do so, we learn the lesson of how that theme or pattern relates to what we are experiencing within. Then, we begin to shift out of the belief system that tells us we have to give that, “thing”, energy!

Watch the video above to find out how I discovered the message in being “mansplained” to on multiple occasions, in one day! **Spoiler Alert** I used it as fuel for my fire to teach you and you might just gain some fire by watching too!

Until next time, may intuition be with you!

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What’s Next?

For more on learning to trust yourself and your intuition, stay tuned in October for some exciting new offerings! Also, be sure to tune into the Facebook Live show on Wednesdays at 9pm ET/6pm PT.

The Simplest Way to Create Lasting Change + The Future of Healthy Leadership

Hi, Betsy here!

I’m so excited to connect with you today because we’ve got some work to do, you and I. That work is some of the most important work we’ll ever embark upon and so important in today’s world. It’s the work of self, tapping into our intuition and creating lasting change in ourselves and the world! And there’s no better time to begin this work than right now!

Why is NOW the Time?

Let’s use September’s hearty “back to work” energy to fuel our commitment to developing our intuition! Let’s create a shift away from societally conditioned belief systems and a shift into trust of self.

As conscious individuals we know that the patriarchy we are living in is broken and must shift radically. As conscious individuals we also know that we cannot simply be witnesses, we must be a part of this shift! Now is just the right time to create a new system that infuses some much needed feminine light to create flow within the structure. A new system that recognizes lasting change on any level starts with trust of self!

Each and every one of us is working on something. Whether it’s something we want more of (Energy? Money? Yes, please!), something we want less of (Pain? Absolutely!), something we want to manifest in our life, or a dream we want to see achieved...but you know what else each of us has? Everyone has what I like to call the “nah, nah, nahs”. That’s all those thoughts that pop into our head to stand between us and our dream or that change we want. “Where will I get the money to pursue my dream?” “They’ll be upset if I create that boundary!” “What if I don’t perform well enough?”

Well, these are all just thoughts. These thoughts are fear. These thoughts are ego. These thoughts are the internal manifestation of the patriarchy’s system of limiting our beliefs...limiting our vision! These thoughts are not who we are. We can change our thoughts!

How to Create Lasting Change

Great news! All we’ve got to do to create lasting change is relax! So how do we relax?

Step 1. Take a breath!

Meditation and breathwork are some of the easiest ways to learn trust of self and tap into our intuition. Maybe we commit to regular meditation and/or breathwork practice; my “How to Stop Taking on Other People’s Energy” guided meditation is a great place to start.

Step 2. Try out a mantra to cut through the “nah, nah, nahs”!

The mantra I like to recite is, “I don’t need to know the hows!” We don’t need to know how the money will come or how they will react to the boundary we set or even how well we will perform. We just need to trust ourselves, our vision, our intuition.

Step 3. Drop into gratitude!

How about, “Thank you for the idea”, rather than, “Where will the money come from”. Or, “Thank you for the vision”, rather than, “Will I execute it well enough”.

Step 4. Repeat steps 1-3!

Regular practice of these simple steps will to shift us out of those limiting patterns and into creativity, life force, self! In doing so we begin to be more in tune with our intuition and more able to act on what feels right!

What Does All This Have to do with Healthy Leadership?

We are all leaders in some way and the future of healthy leadership is to focus on family! Conscious entrepreneurs are beginning to radically shift the system by dedicating themselves to building their vision on a foundation that recognizes their team as family. So it is of the utmost importance that we all, as leaders, constantly engage in the work of self care so that we can also effectively take care of our family! It’s the connection, the love, the trust created by family that is missing in the world today. If we can all commit to being the change we wish to see in the world, we’ll create families (in our homes, in our communities, in our businesses) of strong individuals who trust in self, tap into intuition, and help other do the same!

May intuition be with you!

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What’s Next?

Be sure to tune into my live show on Facebook each Wednesday (9pm ET/6pm PT) where we’ll be discussing new topics related to all things intuition!

What You've Been Missing

Hi there!

If you are anything like me, this week has gotten you feeling angsty! I've been feeling this uncomfortable build up in my belly that makes me feel like I want to crawl out of my skin, and I've heard many other people describe something similar.

Tomorow is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse, and with time and effort, it can serve to relieve these uncomfortable feelings we've been having.

BUT! Change won't happen on its own! Watch this week's video to figure out what you've been missing and what you can add to your life to ease and assist you with this change. 

I'd also recommend asking a trusted loved one for help if you are up for it. I've been opening up more and more to getting assistance from others, and I can say for sure it's tremendously life-changing!

May your Intuition be with you!

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I Lost Access to My Orgasm. (And How I Got It Back)

My primary teaching is that Intuition Lives in the Body. This week I share a story of how I ignored my intuition. I blocked my flow. I took on something that someone else said, and the results were painful!

As a recovering People Pleaser, and someone who tended to manage other people's emotions, it was easy for me to take the bait, but when I did, I could no longer have an orgasm without a bursting headache!

How do we translate the body's signals into messages to better our lives? Watch this week's video to find out how I did just this. 

May your intuition be with you!

I had a Massive Heart Opening!

A few weeks ago I released some very personal information on the blog.  I knew it would help so many people if I spoke up and talked about my current struggles.

But what I didn’t expect so many people to respond as a result. Thank you! The sheer volume of people reaching had a significant effect on my heart. I feel seen and more importantly SUPPORTED! 

And as usual what I am going through is just a sign or indicator of what others are going through.

It makes me wonder: When you will finally speak up? Where have you been hiding? Where have you been sharing only the partial truth? When and how will you come out to those who matter and share who you are (including the dark spots and the struggle)? 

Check out this week's video to help rewire your brain and learn more about opening the heart. Now is the time to take action and shift on the inside to see the results on the outside. 

May your intuition be with you!

Holding Back Out of Fear

Words of support continue to fly in from all directions after my big reveal last week. To all those who reached out, THANK you! My heart is opening as we speak. You can best believe this is what we will be talking about next week!

This week I want to ask you something: Have you have ever held back expressing how you feel because you were afraid of hurting someone else? Maybe you don't share what you genuinely think to make sure things go smoother with others. Or perhaps you aren't entirely sure how it would go over if you shared how things around you were affecting you.

I've always been an advocate of speaking the truth with authenticity, however, I am also a super sensitive, caring being - which can be what gets us into this mess in the first place.

I had no idea how speaking my truth and breathing to let go of all the bullshit would make me feel. As it turns out, we are all in the midst of rewiring our brains so that we can live more of our full potential. Watch this week's video to find out how I continue to expand, and rewire, after revealing my truth. If you have ever had trouble speaking up, this one's for you ;)

May your intuition be with you!

I am Recovering...

If you've been following me, you’ve been reading a lot about upgrades in personal power and how that interacts with anxiety. I’ve been talking about speaking up for oneself, shedding old patterns and taking time for the self to digest.

This week I took my advice and got help. I got my 2nd reading in 7 years. It was right on and shook me up! The answer to my problem was to be. However, after the session ended I realized what was blocking me from being - I discovered that something was blocking my VOICE.

In this week's video I share something so big, it has gotten people worried. I'm not worried and rest assured that I am completely safe. Watch the video to find out what I was hiding. 

It was hard to speak up, but now that I have I feel better and feel much more in my power. Also, my friends and family are proud of me for doing so. Ultimately, my wish for you is that you find your voice and use it too.

Everyone continues to need a little extra help. That's why we are here. That's why I'm here. Need help finding the dark spot that dims your light? Want to get to the root of what's blocking you? Book a Breathwork or Breakthrough Session today.

Make sure to stay tuned the next couple of weeks as we dive further into finding and using your voice and rewiring the brain.

May your intution be with you!

My Heart Said Yes. My Head Said No.

I talk a lot about parsing out the difference between ego and intuition. But I think it’s time to put a third into the mix... 

Fam, please meet my good friend – neurosis. :-) 

This week I found myself in this situation where after doing Stop, Drop and Roll, I rolled out of my practice and straight into my head. And let me tell you, this is not a place that I want to live people!

So in this week's video, I'm humbling myself and letting you in on my neurosis moment in hopes that I'll spare you from the same. After all, my intuition always has my back - and my head too.

May your intuition be with you!

Crushing It Creates Epic Freak Outs

So not to toot my own toot, but I’ve been crushing it. I’m accomplishing goals, realizing manifestations, and calling love back into my life. I’m making moves and everything is so good!

So why did I freak_the_heck_out?

Watch this week’s video to find out :)

Birthing a project, a goal, and of course, an actual baby! often comes with contractions. These emotional, and yes, even physical pains are a side effect of our growth.

This week I’ll tell you about my contraction - and how I got through it - so that I could keep on keepin' on. And so that you can too!

May your intuition be with you!

Why I Almost Ignored My Intuition

Have you ever felt like all signs are pointing to you doing something - making a change, or going somewhere new, yet for some reason, you resist moving forward?

Of course you have! We all have. But since I teach people how to trust their intuition and I actually walk my talk, I can sometimes make it seem easy. But this week, I'm here to share, it's not always easy for me to follow my own intuition. In fact, I believe that we may never experience a life void of fear and resistance. If that is a surprise to you, that's ok. What I teach is that fear and resistance are actually part of your internal guidance system - you just need to understand when it's your ego is speaking and when it's your intuition. (Click here for the Stop, Drop & Roll tool).

Watch this week's video to find out what signs the Universe was sending me, the resistance I put up, and the reward I got for stepping past my edge. 

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Oracle Cards*

Here are the cards I keep on my phone.

* Heal Body app is no longer available. Click here for the book version.